On Expectations

Ecstasy is all you need
Livin’ in the big machine, now
Oh, you’re so vain…

I have a working theory in progress: Family, friends and coworkers will increasingly meddle in your affairs the longer you stay unattached.

In the past month, roughly a dozen people have commented to me about my status. As if I am somehow incomplete. My best friend since childhood, who married three years ago this coming Spring, told me twice, within a day, that his wife wanted to set me up with her friend. He’s been trying to convince, since he got married, that I need to do the same. Thanks, but no thanks. While at the mall over Christmas break, trying to find a good sport jacket, my mother exclaimed do you get a lot of looks from girls? And the next day, while family friends were visiting, the same remark was made. To which I replied there never are any around.

I’ve noticed comments I get from one person have switched from being about girls and marriage to about [future] children I supposedly will have. Apparently because the former comments have yet to move me towards pursuing marriage.

This is where the adolescent in me screams out with punk themes. Sum 41’s Pieces; The Cootees’ What You Hate, Deadbeat and They Don’t Know, etc.

I do have a coworker, though, who surprised me Thursday. [Your decision on marriage] that’s between you and God. So succinctly stated.

Like that clichéd breath of fresh air.

I’ve come to the conclusion in the past few years that Christians spiritualize marriage far too much. As if it is supposed to be the Holy Grail of life on earth. Having grown up in the Church, I now often ponder whether non-Christians get the same kind of treatment from family and friends. Sometimes I wonder if it’s better to view marriage in a more secularized mindset, free from an almost-heretical view of mixing one’s spouse and God into a physical human relationship.

So in the future, I think I’m just gonna be frank with people: Mind your own business.

Because, after all

…nothin’s real and nothin’ lasts…

Italicized lyrics: Goo Goo Dolls Big Machine
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